Scum (H)

My dad made the ultimate sacrifice, giving his ticket for scum at home to his 16-year-old Grandson. Lucca had also been given a ticket for scum away, and he was sat in the home end with his scum-supporting friend’s mum and sister when Luke Ayling produced one of the highlights of the season, although the subsequent capitulation had trampled all over the memory. Nevertheless, when faced with the pre-match poser, ‘Would you rather draw 0-0, or take the lead but lose 2-1?’ Lucca reluctantly valued the euphoria of taking the lead over earning a single point. Slightly shamefully, I agreed.

We arrived at a sodden Elland Road, sodden. It was absolutely bucketing it down and Lucca’s decision to wear joggers was as questionable as my decision to combat Storm Eunice with a body warmer. However, the most questionable decision came from The Great Man, as reports filtered through that Raphinha was on the bench. It was a bold move by El Loco, but it was true that Raphinha’s form had dipped since his latest excursions in Brazil. With Dallas, Forshaw, Klich, Koch, and Rodrigo in the team, Marcelo was flexing his midfield muscles – ‘You wanted a midfielder? Well, here’s five of them!’ – but all the midfielders in the world couldn’t replace Kalvin Phillips, and the national treasure was still a number of weeks from full fitness. 

As the teams emerged Elland Road reached maximum volume, and in the early exchanges Jack Harrison flashed a great chance a yard off target. The scum players were being booed with every touch, but when they went down injured they were cheered, especially the King of the Whinge-bags, ‘Bruno’ Fernandez (it was as if we all believed he was actually injured). A long stoppage due to an actual injury to Robin Koch took the edge off the atmosphere, which soon turned apprehensive as Leeds struggled to play out from the back or ever really get on top of their opponents. Things took a turn for the worse when Koch eventually succumbed to his injuries, befuddling Bielsa’s team. Junior Firpo was introduced as expected, but instead of moving Dallas into midfield, Bielsa went for a full re-structure. Dallas moved to right back, Struijk became midfielder number six (in your face, transfer window fans!), and Luke Ayling picked up the job of marking Ronaldo, who had been no trouble for Llorente and was completely dominated by a superb captain’s performance from Ayling.

Perhaps the biggest problem with Leeds’s perennial injury struggles was that most injuries were occurring during the matches themselves, and Leeds were developing a habit of conceding within minutes of their mid-game re-shuffles. Right on cue, just three minutes after the substitution, Slab-head capitalised on some mindless marking by Llorente to score easily from a corner, the first corner scum had scored from this season (Leeds, that). There was no big response from the home side, and although there was a roar of approval when the fourth official showed six minutes added time, I suspected everybody felt as I did: ‘Let’s just get to half-time.’ They didn’t manage it. In the 50th minute Lindelof was allowed to carry the ball deep into Leeds territory and Sancho’s cross was headed in by Fernandez, from all alone inside the six-yard box. 

‘They’re going to have to start the second half off like a train.’ Tweeted Phil Hay, and the tone was set by Bielsa, who used his final two substitutions to introduce Joffy Gelhardt and Raphinha at half-time. Six minutes later, Rodrigo’s mis-hit cross floated beyond De Gea’s stretching fingers and dropped inches inside the far post. Elland Road erupted, and Raphinha grabbed the ball from the net and rushed it back to the centre circle as quickly as he could. It took 34 seconds to restart the game, and another 24 seconds for Raphinha to put the ball back in the net. A diving tackle by Dallas regained possession and brought a cheer that most teams would associate with a goal, then there was another cheer as Raphinha kept the ball in play by a fraction. The Brazilian’s pass infield was loose, but Elland Road was cheering again as Forshaw ploughed through Fernandez to win back possession again, and when Dan James drilled the ball into the corridor of uncertainty, Raphinha was there to slide in ahead of Shaw and convert into the empty net. Elland Road exploded! Scum’s two-goal lead was gone in 60 seconds. It was one of those moments you cherish for a long time, and it took me back to the double-salvo that sealed promotion from League One, 12 years ago. 

“With Leeds’s players as buoyant as their fans, the game was there to be won. The Whites were flying into the tackles and the referee was happy to let it all go as if it was the 1990s.”

With Leeds’s players as buoyant as their fans, the game was there to be won. The Whites were flying into the tackles and the referee was happy to let it all go as if it was the 1990s. However, when it came to booking scummers, he refereed like it was the 1960s; McTomminay would have needed to give someone a right hook to receive a caution. The pivotal moment in the match came in the 70th minute, when a cross into the box had Leeds players lined up to score. The responsibility fell to Dan James, and with it the chance to etch his name into the history books at Elland Road, but James fluffed his lines, barely connecting with a simple looking header, and less than a minute later Fred was left free in the box and beat Meslier at his near post. FFS.

The second half had been played in treacherous conditions, and the sight of splashed water with every step and bounce, along with the uncertainty of every pass, added to an intoxicating spectacle. Gelhardt was Leeds’s biggest threat but from a couple of sniffs of goal he couldn’t find the net, and in the 88th minute the match was ended by scum scoring a fourth on the counterattack. Finally, their fans started to sing. The dejected Leeds fans gave their team a deserved ovation after the final whistle, which blew to the sound of, ‘We’re Leeds and we’re proud of it’ being sung from the Kop. As we left the ground Lucca confirmed he wouldn’t have preferred 0-0, but now the top two highlights of the season had both come in heavy defeats against the enemy. They practically didn’t even count. 

I was drained and deflated after the game. It had been a riveting second half, including 58 of the most spine-tingling seconds I had ever experienced at Elland Road, but the fact Leeds had eventually capitulated weighed heavy on my mind. For all their fighting spirit, in recent weeks Bielsa’s side had begun to show traits of a team that gets dragged into deep relegation trouble. They were conceding sloppy goals, losing big matches, and now had the second worst goal-difference in the Premier League. And next up was Anfield.

Rocco Dean - Author of Marcelo Bielsa vs The Damned United and NOW The O’leary Years (order on Amazon)